Participate in your own care

I love my job. I work at the county hospital and I treat everyone who basically gets refused treatment other places. Because of the way the employee health benefits work (completely covered hospitalizations) I also treat nurses and administrators and other employees of the hospital.

Most of my patients are a joy and I gain a lot through my interactions and having opportunites to impact their lives in a positive way through health education and connecting resources for them on top of managing their corporal care.

Recently though, I have run into a few situations that have made me toss and turn at night. I can't get into details because of privacy issues but I will say that the frustration comes from caring for people who don't seem to want to make any initiative to be an active player in their own health. I don't mean because they are lying languid and depressed from pain or a debilitating disease. I understand trying to "check out" in those situations. I'm talking about recovering from a non-life threatening procedure and ignoring advice about mobility and food choices---things that only the patient can control---and expecting their situation to resolve with medication and time alone.

My brief but intimate encounters with my patients can be frustrating when they fit this bill because there is only so much that can be done externally for a person and at some point the outside help has to recognize that my responsibility can only stretch as far as my contributions to the patient. It is frustrating to have to let go of the things only they can control. On one hand I am hoping to get to the point where I am able to let go of that aspect of care so that I won't worry as much, but on the other hand I am afraid to lose that part of my motivation to care.

Trying Camping Again plus cycling

Hubby and I have decided to experience a little more regular adventure in our lives. While nursing at the county hospital can seem like plenty of adventure most of the time, it is the kind of adventure that requires a lot of attention to detail and ends up being the high stress sort. As for Chris, his daily adventure consists mostly with manipulating very expensive equipment as he searches for clues in the mysterious and powerful kidney. Also sort of high stress.
This weekend we are going to Shipshewana, IN. Not adventuresome you say? Well it is when you plan to stay at a campground owned by "a couple of elderly people" and plan on exploring Amish-land backroads on your bicycle and when you plan on visiting the Gene Stratton-Porter house which amazingly has no website. Actually, none of these places do. The research was done with the good old telephone and live conversation. Well, I did look at a Google map when the gentleman from Riverside campground was telling me how to get there. The idea for the trip even came from a BOOK at the library called "The Best Bike Rides in the Midwest." I am thinking Chris will be less afraid to camp in a place populated more by the Amish than regular-old-heartlanders. We'll see.

Wedding Day!

Today a friend of mine from nursing school is getting married. She invited us to the rehearsal dinner last night and of course to the wedding today. We decided to stay in Bloomington overnight instead of driving 50 miles to Indy and back and the plan was to camp at a nearby state park to save money. That's right. I figured I could get pretty at a campsite's bathroom as well as anywhere.
Now, on our way to this camping adventure my husband and I were having a conversation about whether we were more afraid of people or animals when camping. I fear animals. Bears and mountain lions etc. I think Chris was shown the film "Deliverance" at too tender an age because he is terrified of country-folk and seems convinced that there are hillbillies waiting to pounce on unsavvy city-dwelling-campers. However, when we pulled up to the park's entrance we noticed that the 2008 Audi in front of us had the bumper stickers "I love the first amendment" and "actually, guns DO kill people." This sort of blew his image of our fellow campers to the side a little. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to experience a night surviving in a southern Indiana state park with Chris because the campsite was full! Thank goodness for friendships in youth because a pal who rents a home in Bloomington allowed us to stay with him. I have to say though, I locked the bedroom door when I heard our friend's roommate come home and pull out one record to play the song, "Hit Me With Your Best Shot."
I don't know if it's possible to let go of all fear of people while you sleep. Also, at a wedding.

Two Years Later

While I'm fairly certain that no one reads this blog since it has been neglected for the past two years, I'm going to start posting again as if nothing has happened. Because I have decided to get back into cyberworld I decided that I should probabaly change my profile information, as I have changed considerably in the past few years. When I was sorting through the list of "industries" available for me to chose from, I was disappointed to see that there wasn't the option of Nursing or Healthcare or even (G-d forbid I chose this) Medicine. As I was scrolling through, I thought about all the things that Nursing necessitates: Art, Human Resources, Architecture--(of the human body?) there was even an option of "Chemicals." --Drugs? That probably counts. Fashion?--If you're careful about scrub selection... It sounds cliche and to any nurses or student nurses it is beyond cliche and moves into the obnoxious category, to say "one can do ANYTHING with nursing." Nevertheless, given the inappropriate options presented to me what was my mind supposed to revert to? I decided to choose Chemicals. Nursing almost always involves drugs. At least, it seems that way now that I'm expected to know a lot about them to take the Board exam.

april

what a whirldwind of a life! i have a moment to sit and reflect because i am stuck without my car and i don't want to go out in the wind and i don't have to babysit or teach or do activist things. hurrah!

anyway, now i am just trying to get through nursing school in one piece. yesterday i had a clinical experience at the nursing home from 11-4:30. they don't play. anyway, here's an example of how unprepared to be a nurse i am: the charge nurse asked me and a friend to take vital signs (heart rate, o2 saturation, blood pressure, pain, respirations) on five people. we had about an hour and a half to get this done. simple, right? no! we only got 2 of the five people and we both forgot to check respirs! now, to be fair to myself, it must be understood that there are about a gazillion factors that interfere with getting this work done. i won't go into them because i REALLY don't want to risk any kind of hippa violations but we sucked. i know that right now it's just a matter of getting oriented and understanding the little things that no one mentions in the classroom but it's really hard. however, it's clear though that soon we will be able to do certain procedures with complete confidence and maybe even grace.

for now i will continue to read and practice and get that muscle memory and hopefully a little general orientation put together so i can actually be helpful!

tag team,back again

hi hi.

here is a picture of me at a protest of the nomination of samuel alito. it was fun and i love all of my pals who were there. hey hey mister mister, keep your laws off my sister!

Nursing School Rocks/Stinks

Here's a picture of me with some of the Women's Student Association. We were making sushi.

No se preocupan,

Estoy feliz la mayoria del tiempo pero tengo mucho estres. Unas de mis profesores no sabe nada de nada y este hecho me molesta mucho porque ella diga cosas ofensivas a veces durante la clase y usa ejemplos incorrectos para illustrar sus ideas. idiota. hijole. Solo siento tan malo porque creo que todas las enfermeras deben ser muy intelegentes y con un mente muy abre. Lo que sea.

Anyway, besides that I'm great! The Women's Student Association of which I am the treasurer is going very strong. We have quite a few new members who are really excited about the group. Right now we are working on the production of the annual Take Back the Night March which protests violence against women and girls. That takes a lot of umpf. We are also doing general fund raising (pizza sales on campus) and we're meeting at my house tonight to watch Commander in Chief which is a new weekly thing that we do. Last weekend 4 of us went camping and had a great time. It was a small group (because a lot of the girls flat-out said they don't camp) but we roasted marshmallows and sang Ani Difranco songs. Then we found some underwear in the men's bathroom (the girl's was full) and we named them patriarchy and burned them. HA! In a few weekends I will be going to the Planned Parenthood Live Action Camp in Evansville where we will be learning about sex education in public schools and where that's headed. scary. Finally, to wrap up my feminist fall I am going to the Dolly Parton concert in November with my roomate, Jen. I am soooo pumped!

Nursing classes are VERY interesting. I'm finally to the point where I don't ever say "Why am I learning this crap that I will never use?" I am learning how to physically asses someone, the tiny world of microbiology, and nursing theory (where were/are we and where are we going? also, don't cheat.) After the first 4 weeks I don't feel quite so much like I'm a chicken with her head cut off. Also, I'm making some great friends within the program which is one of my biggest concerns as a codependent extrovert. Next semester I would like to take some humanities classes to balance out the nursing stuff because science all the time can make me feel like I'm not quite getting it all.

Anyway, I'm sorry this isn't very commentative or poetic. I have to do a write up of the assessment of the Head, Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat.